Laughter – the best medicine

I have never been a very lecture-loving guy, preferring a more hands-on approach to the theoretical one. On very frequent occasions, I have sat through a complete lecture, with all the seriousness associated with a typical “maggu”, but have left the lecture not being able to recollect a single word that the professor had said. I advise all my juniors, peers and anyone who would listen to pay attention in class, doing so would reduce the after-work significantly. It is then ironical that I have been the worst practitioner of my own advice. So, when I joined my new job, although I was sad at leaving the college, recollecting all the days lazing and doing nothing or playing multiplayer online games all day long, at some level I was happy that I was escaping a life that was ridden by a compulsion to sit through lectures. Obviously I was dismayed then, when I discovered that I would have to compulsorily attend lectures on financial markets and valuation and accounting, and that too lectures spanning not just an hour or two, but several hours at a length, and many days in continuation.

It’s now almost the end of the class-room training, and I have come to realize that I have never learnt as much in a class setting as I have in the past few days. It has been a revelation being attentive in the class, and actually absorbing the views of the lecturer. And the one single thing that has stood my current instructors apart from all others in my college days has been humor. It has added spice to the otherwise bland and monotonous nature of the topics covered. Someone who has attended an accounting lecture will associate with what I mean. It is one topic that cannot be tutored without an element of fun involved. My attentiveness in these sessions can be attributed not only to my enthusiasm to learn, but also to my desire not to miss a single snippet of humor that escapes the lecturer’s lips. Below are some of the most hilarious lines I have ever heard

• 1.       Prof: Muslims are always saying they gave us the Prophet and they gave us zero.
  

(The whole class erupts in laughter)

Prof: Err…Two mutually exclusive events of course.

• 2.       Prof: I went to Aura (a bar) and I was really excited and all would have an Indian beer you know Kingfisher and all, and all they had was Stroh’s. I couldn’t believe it.
  

  Student: But that’s an Aussie beer isn’t it? (The Prof is an Aussie)

  Prof: Yeah, but we don’t drink Stroh’s in Australia. We keep all the good stuff and export Stroh’s to US, India, Japan…we say take it all, we don’t want it!!

 

• 3.       I have been a very successful trader, and I have always without exception made a trade at a wave or a trough. And on one of those occasions, I maximized my losses.
  

 

• 4.       …they think that if we use both sides of toilet paper, that they would stop global warming….
  

 

• 5.       Nobody wants to sell steel today, everyone wants to sell Tata Steel.
  

 

• 6.       …. jo kaam kiya,mehnat kiya, steel banaya uska pagaar 12000. Aur mba karke nikla uska pagaar 12 lakh….aur usse pooch kya kiya…M&A kiya !!
  

 

• 7.       God does not give everything in life. So God asked humanity, what do you want; a good balance sheet and a crap P&L or vice versa. And for ages humanity has said, balance sheet ka kya karega, P&L achha do. Par ab ye private equity waala aya, bola P&L kaun dekhta hai, Balance Sheet achha do. And thus we are moving towards a fair value based balance sheet rather than cost based system earlier…..