Read At Your Own Peril

i have been gripped by a sesnse of dismay over the last few days. i know all too well of my not so great will power. i almost never ever do what i set out to do the day before. the problem is that i dont even try. and to top it all off i dont even try and change the fact that i dont try. and then i regret that i dont change the fact that i dont even give it a try. and then i set out again, set up a task again for the morrow and fail again. the cycle continues, i fail to learn anything from it. how can someone be such a big idiot. infact idiot is not the word to describe me. its something between a shameless ass and a faineant - someone who has a disinclination to work. i never get to the end of any book. mind it, the book im referring here is a study book of some sort. novels i run through gleefully. the biggest problem is that i know what the problem is, i know what the solution is and know that everything is in my hands, all i need is just a, little effort and that is what is missing on most occasions. on most, i must be joking. on all occasions. i dont have a recollection of when i have done something that has given me pleasure or satisfaction. i know that satisfaction is obtained when fruits are borne out of one's intense efforts and the more sweat and time you put in in a piece of work, the better would be the feeling when the desired outcome is obtained. the problem with me is that im uninterested, infact disinterested would be a better word, to put in the efforts. my will power is as brittle as anything. i dont know how to resurrect the fact that it is so brittle. infact i do, i know i have to put in efforts, small steps that will eventually help me in the long term. but thats where the irony kicks in. effort is what im not willing to put in. i know for a fact that winning is not just one off, its a habit that one has to cultivate, yet i expect myself to top at my next academic venture despite the fact that i have never done it in the past due to lack of efforts. im also perenially short of self confidence. i dont need my dad to point that out to me, though he has on occasions. i have stood silent many a time with the right answer, doubting myself..."how the hell could i know the right answers when the entire class doesnt...are they fools or am i a genius??"....is the line of thought that runs through my head. another reason is that i get embarassed easily. once pointed out that my answer is wrong, it has a kind of effect on me that just devastates me. it like puts me back a lot. it kind of makes me think that why i quacked in the first place. had it not been better that i had kept shut. opened my mouth and made a big fun of myself in front of the class.and in that respect i try and keep myself as low profile as possible. as i am writing my piece, i was just a while back interrupted by a call from time. they are asking me to come and speak in front of 2-300 people and with a lotta passion. i guess im just gonna give it a try. last time this happened i made a big mess of it. went on stage and i dont even reemember what i said. i guess from an audience of 300 people, 4-5 clapped afterwards. should have strenghthened my resolve never to get up on stage again. but i know i will have to doa lot of presentations in the furture, imn just taking this as a practice session. i'll tryu and do all those calming excercises. and then i'll coax myself to speak with a reassured pace and not just go out and blurt out word so fast that im actually saying stuff before i even think of what i am saying. lets see how it goes. ive been taking steps though to be a trifle more bold and not to get embarrsed easily. but then i have these notions that what the other one would be thinking about me and that makes me hesitate a little. i guess i have to learn that one cannot be loved by everyone simultaneously. i just have to gulp down this bitter syrup. well if you have got this far reading the gamut of drawbacks that i do have, i thank you. i can go on forever. this is just the tip of the iceberg. but then i dont wanna shoo away ppl from my blog. i want ppl to read it once in a while. so i'll end it here and go and study something that i had to yesterday as part of my plan. you can go and have your aspirin...this surely will give anyone a headache. hope you read my blogs again. bye and see you.....

My Trip to Pune

As the year drew to a close, me and a few friends who have been lucky enough to stay at and around Pune decided that it was time that all of us had a meeting. it had been a long time since we bade each other goodbye at Howrah station in calcutta.destiny had taken everyone different places, but the common feeling of loneliness was what coaxed us into investing out time in this get together. so off i went to pune from hyderabad, was a one night journey in an uncomfortable and not-worth-the-price bus, bus was a little price to pay for the emotional replenishment that i was about to get.we were met there by some friends who were our batchmates alright but not close friends..i had to wait just a little longer for the time...and then it happened...when i came face to face with all the ppl that i had left behind after college. it was a strange feeling for me. didnt seem a long time since i left them although it was something like 5 months since we saw each other. maybe the memories etched in my mind never really faded. but i was happy. i dint speak for some time, that was in part because i wanted to listen to that light hearted banter again that i so missed.every one was having a laugh at everyone else, sometimes even at me. i received a few compliments on my weight which confirmed my doubt that i had slimmed down.we all sat around for maybe hours and just chatted amongst
ourselves...forgot to eat our lunch even and it was not until 4 and every eating joint was just about closed that we took off to fill our tummies.it was some of the best food i have tasted in a long time....it was because of the company maybe i dont know...but this hyderabadi food sure does taste bland again. then came the hard part, making a plan for the evening. our grp has been notorious for this....too many ideas and too much mulling over and finally we come up with the same solution every time..that enough time has been wasted and lets just go to the nearest decent place...so we set off...not before calling up our friend debasree in switzerland...i tried 5 times and it didnt connect..and then finally my friend pratyush did and it connected...i was so much hoping to talk first...that was not to be it. we sang the complete birthday song near that booth..many quizzical faces turned towards us...what is that grp of 12 doing there holding the receiver in their hand and singing happy birthday??...but that was the last of our concerns...then we took turns wishing her..all the time one eye on the bill meter which was running very much like a rigged auto meter in hyderabad...and then after a 3 digit amount was paid, we set off again to celebrate the new year eve...it was in a nearby bar cum disco and all....i admit one of the dumbest places to be celebrating new year...i drank a little but watched in amazement as my friends gulped down one peg after
another...i think ive never seen anyone drink as much as akhil did that day...still when the new year came, it did not come with a bang but a whimper...and we wished each other well for the new year...i had not expected what was in store for me this new year...we all went back home and had a good night's sleep...we had to set off for the nearby dam on the mulsi lake(i think it was this only) and that too early in the morning...that for us was about 2 in the afternoon...i didnt get reservation for hyderabad that day, so i had to take for the next that is 2nd...i didnt mind though...who wanted to go back anyway...not me atleast...so finally 10 ppl on 5 bikes set off for a 50 km sojourn through the hills...and it was a blast of a trip...i didnt wear a protective mask on my head, at that moment i thought why every one else was doing so...i realised later that sitting on a high speed bike for 2 hours and with wind and mud and what not blasting in your face would eventually lead to a very bad feeling on the face...not that it was much disconcerting....physical pains was the last on my mind...i was wearing my new trouser(almost new) and my fav sweater and i had taken all care to keep it as clean as possible...we stopped near the lake at one point and all came down to the lake, had a stone throwing competition where i stood maybe next to last...in my defence i would say that i wasnt trying too hard...again we sat there for an hour and just recalled past times, it was great, i clicked some fotos(which ill upload soon)...my friends urged me to take a few steps in the lake...and i said no...my new trouser was pulling me back...that done we set off again for the dam...although a new piece of news to us was that a dam was baing built...so no such structure existed till date...talk about a stupid idea...,but the breathtaking scenery and the time spent at the lake was
compensation enough for that...again we started this time without any plan where to go, just ascending the hills when something i least expected happened...the bike i was travelling on sitting pillion to my former roomie rajiv skid and fell and i was skidding along with it...someone who has been in an accident will tell you that life slows down during the accident and that you will most probably remember all that happened....exactly what happened to me...i could see the stones going past me, hitting me and i also saw the oncoming ditch...we managed to stop in the nick of time, not that it was by anything we did, just luck...a little more and we would have been hurtling down the slope...a little more than just bruises was what i got from that experience...but then again im happy that it happened to me...surprisingly that episode has made me even richer in memories, one thing that will never leave me...skidding along at 60 km per hour with nothing that you can do....when i stood up from that i looked down and saw that the trouser that i had been so protective of had been ruined...talk about irony...but i dont regret it...i consider it a small sacrifice for a great experience...i dont even have that trouser now,,,i gave it to my friend who said that he wanted it...i didnt for one minute finched..i guess ive never felt happier at giving away something that has been my fav...we came back...i was glowing all the way...my first accident..somehow it made me feel proud i dont know why...we stopped downhill at a restaurant, had lots to eat..and finally made it home at night....slept very soundly and for a long time...next day my friends all went to their jobs and i guess that was the most boring day...or so i thought...my friend called up to tell me that cat results were out...i gave him my reg number...i coulnt believe when he told me that 3 results were out and that i had all the calls....what made me even happier was the fact that pratyush my closest friend, i would like to say unabashedly, also got calls...i finally ended up with 5 calls...came back to hyderabad after giving my friends 2 treats..small ones but i hope a precursor to a larger one if i convert...and i believe it has been one of my most memorable new years ever spent...i have a lot more to tell..the ccd treat...emotional farewell with sharma(oops abhishek) and a lots more...but details for later...right now i just want to savour the memories that flood my mind......

Shopper's (dont) Stop

I bought an electric iron from Shopper's Stop recently...exactly...3 months back an it malfunctioned about a month back..Since then we were always planning to take it back to the dealer from which it was bought, in this case Shopper's Stop. When i did take it, they first urged me to take it instead to a Philips repair center...the closest being i dont know an hour away. I refused to do so, instead showing them that it was clearly mentioned that in case of any fault, one can take it back to the dealer from whom it was purchased. Grudgingly they accepted, then told me that it would take time for repairs...started by quoting 2-3 days and ending up with 7-1o all the while hoping i would change my mind an take the iron someplace else. I was stood determined. Then they came up with a novel way to refuse. They told me i required the bill in addition to the warranty card, something that was nowhere mentioned. Again i pointed it out, handing them a little white lie that even while purchasing i was told that only the warranty card needed to be handled with care. They held out for some time, initially refusing to get the transaction details from their database. After having tried all their power of persusion, they grudgingly got that piece of information as well. Then in a last ditch effort, they said that there might be a charge despite it being in the warranty period. I told them to call me up before getting it repaired in case there was a charge although i did not expect a charge as it was still in the warranty period. Now i expect a call anytime, telling me that there would be a charge so that they would be relieved of this task of getting the iron repaired. Well, i have learnt one important lesson from this and would like to advise all of you reaing this piece as well...If its an electronic item you wish to buy, dont shop at the Shopper's Stop.

Begging - Hyderabad's largest employer??

Begging...This word to me used to mean that the person resorting to begging is devoid of any resource required for survival. That the basic need of food and water is not being met an hence the person is resorting to begging. I looked up the meaning in the dictionary and this is what popped up....To ask earnestly for or of....Well here in Hyderabad, begging has taken a lot different meaning. Ive lived in diverse places such as Delhi, Calcutta and now Hyderabad. Ive also been o many other places. But Hyderabad deats them all in the sheer number of individuals one encounters while on a journey. Im confronted by beggars routinely and at all times of the day, even late at night. What came to my notice was the physical condition of the beggars. While beggars in Delhi were more or less disabled, which for me is a valid reason for begging(why...well thats for some other day), here in Hyderabad, ive hardly seen a beggar who has any physical disability. No wounds, nothing. People in worse conditions are working for a living. This makes these people all the more shameless. What i have observed is that there are some beggars who are like aboriginal to a place. And over a period of time, they keep changing. I can see one face comming up to beg for money every time i visit the nearby marketplace. For about one week this face remains the same. Then, inexplicably, someone else comes in his/her place. Its like a modus-operandi wherein a system of rotation is followed i believe. What could be the causes i pondered a few days back. Unemployment cannot be it. Work oppurtunities abound if one is seriously looking. Other reasons smilarly come to nought. The only discernible reason i can think of is that bgging is a lucrative money generating employment. The truth is out there and very much in sight for anyone to see. I was hit by a piece of fact by my friend a few days back. He said there are more than 2 lakh beggars in Hyderabad with a turnover i dont remember but i remember the per head figure i calculated that day which cae to something like 2000 rupees per month per beggar. Simply mindblowing. On one of my walks i took up a little silly exercise but which revealed a truth to me about begging. I started counting the number of footsteps it would take for me to come across a beggar. From the first beggar to the next it was about 357 footsteps an from the second to the third...about 381...shocking considering i was walking on a straight road. What this means is that begging is a very well managed "job" wherein the begging territories are chalked out beforehand by the "employees". So the next time you come across one of these beggars in Hyderabad, you should realise that you have just had a tryst with what is perhaps one of the largest organised industry in the state.....

Our early morning venture at IIT-Guwahati 

Having fun by the lakeside