Mumbai v/s Delhi

Now that’s a debate that’s been running for ages with obviously no one right answer. And it’s typically Mumbaikers and Delhiites who are at the end of such debates, which often turn into heated arguments. It’s almost as if quasi-patriotism for the native state overtakes the warring parties, which overrides all arguments. I, ironically, belong to a unique or rare breed of Delhiites who would stick my head out and say that Mumbai would score over Delhi, despite all of the capital state’s obvious advantages. I have been looked upon as a deserter by my Delhi friends and a hero by my Mumbai ones, which kind of balances it out. So I ponder over the course of this article, as to why Mumbai holds such allure for me and I hope I would have the answer by the end of it.

To start off, there is the most obvious differentiator which is the sea. It’s not so much the beaches that attract me as much as just the location of the place, the sea and the sprawling city that has developed on its coastline. Marine Drive is definitely one of the most beautiful stretches of road that I have ever been witness to. And going by the vast numbers that throng the place all day long, I would have lot of company to back me up on this.

Then there are the high rises. While Delhi spreads itself horizontally, Mumbai, by virtue of space (or lack thereof) has to spread vertically. And it is a breathtaking sight with high rises dotting the horizon. I stay in a 7 storied apartment in Delhi, and that is like the tallest that there are as far as residential complexes go. Not here. 20 stories is a common sight here. And then there is something about standing on the 19^th floor and gazing at the world below, a charm that is absent in Delhi.

Food definitely stands out. On all occasions that I’ve been out, the food has been tremendous. Yes, as I recently discovered, Mumbaikers do have a fascination with sugar, which they add in magnanimous quantities to most food items that in my view should be left alone. But that apart, food has been terrific in general, the same cannot be said of Delhi, where one would generally have a few places lined out for a visit, as all others suck.

The attitude comes next, towards the fairer sex in particular. While in Delhi, a decent girl would always have a reason to be cautious about the way she dresses, the time she stays out and the locality which she visits, the same is absent here in Mumbai. The taunts and the lecherous looks that generally follow any girl in Delhi would be a rarity in Mumbai. And so there is a great deal of equality here, which comes as a breath of fresh air in a mainly male dominated society like India.

Readers here would definitely point out that Delhi stands far ahead in infrastructure, space per capita, and greenery and what not. But all that is superficial in my view. What purpose does all the infrastructure serve when travelling from one part of the city to the other usually costs a fortune both in terms of time and money if owning a vehicle is out of one’s reach and what good is space per capita and greenery when all the vehicles spewing smoke make Delhi one of the most polluted city in Asia, far ahead of Mumbai.

So this in a nutshell was my view about the city. I’m sure there is more to Mumbai than just the points above, but then I have not been able to pin-point those intangibles till now. I hope to decipher those feelings sometime in the future. But one thing is for sure for now, I am a definite covert. Go Mumbai!!!

Laughter – the best medicine

I have never been a very lecture-loving guy, preferring a more hands-on approach to the theoretical one. On very frequent occasions, I have sat through a complete lecture, with all the seriousness associated with a typical “maggu”, but have left the lecture not being able to recollect a single word that the professor had said. I advise all my juniors, peers and anyone who would listen to pay attention in class, doing so would reduce the after-work significantly. It is then ironical that I have been the worst practitioner of my own advice. So, when I joined my new job, although I was sad at leaving the college, recollecting all the days lazing and doing nothing or playing multiplayer online games all day long, at some level I was happy that I was escaping a life that was ridden by a compulsion to sit through lectures. Obviously I was dismayed then, when I discovered that I would have to compulsorily attend lectures on financial markets and valuation and accounting, and that too lectures spanning not just an hour or two, but several hours at a length, and many days in continuation.

It’s now almost the end of the class-room training, and I have come to realize that I have never learnt as much in a class setting as I have in the past few days. It has been a revelation being attentive in the class, and actually absorbing the views of the lecturer. And the one single thing that has stood my current instructors apart from all others in my college days has been humor. It has added spice to the otherwise bland and monotonous nature of the topics covered. Someone who has attended an accounting lecture will associate with what I mean. It is one topic that cannot be tutored without an element of fun involved. My attentiveness in these sessions can be attributed not only to my enthusiasm to learn, but also to my desire not to miss a single snippet of humor that escapes the lecturer’s lips. Below are some of the most hilarious lines I have ever heard

• 1.       Prof: Muslims are always saying they gave us the Prophet and they gave us zero.
  

(The whole class erupts in laughter)

Prof: Err…Two mutually exclusive events of course.

• 2.       Prof: I went to Aura (a bar) and I was really excited and all would have an Indian beer you know Kingfisher and all, and all they had was Stroh’s. I couldn’t believe it.
  

  Student: But that’s an Aussie beer isn’t it? (The Prof is an Aussie)

  Prof: Yeah, but we don’t drink Stroh’s in Australia. We keep all the good stuff and export Stroh’s to US, India, Japan…we say take it all, we don’t want it!!

 

• 3.       I have been a very successful trader, and I have always without exception made a trade at a wave or a trough. And on one of those occasions, I maximized my losses.
  

 

• 4.       …they think that if we use both sides of toilet paper, that they would stop global warming….
  

 

• 5.       Nobody wants to sell steel today, everyone wants to sell Tata Steel.
  

 

• 6.       …. jo kaam kiya,mehnat kiya, steel banaya uska pagaar 12000. Aur mba karke nikla uska pagaar 12 lakh….aur usse pooch kya kiya…M&A kiya !!
  

 

• 7.       God does not give everything in life. So God asked humanity, what do you want; a good balance sheet and a crap P&L or vice versa. And for ages humanity has said, balance sheet ka kya karega, P&L achha do. Par ab ye private equity waala aya, bola P&L kaun dekhta hai, Balance Sheet achha do. And thus we are moving towards a fair value based balance sheet rather than cost based system earlier…..